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According to some statistics I've read online almost 20% of everyone who signs up for eHarmony gets rejected. It's a little upsetting to me, personally, since (as you can probably tell) I run a pretty liberal online dating site. It's my view that everyone should be welcome everywhere and this includes internet personals sites. Have you ever wondered why eHarmony may have rejected you? If so, I've uncovered the top five reasons why you may have been rejected by eHarmony and I'm also going to tell you what you can do about it! Hopefully, by the end of this article you will no longer be left wondering. Some of these reasons are pretty well-known and some are my personal opinions. The last time I checked eHarmony didn't make this information public.
Reason #1 - Still Married?
One of the main reasons why you may have been denied membership by eHarmony is because you are still married. Note that eHarmony considers separated as still married. If you selected 'Married' or 'Separated' as your Marital Status then it is very likely that this was the main reason why you were rejected. Click here to find out what to do about it.
Reason #2 - Are You Gay?
As I said above, I run a pretty liberal dating website, but eHarmony doesn't seem to be as liberal, If you are a 'Man Seeking a Man' or a 'Woman Seeking a Woman' this may have been the reason why you were denied membership to eHarmony.
Reason #3 - Inconsistent Questionnaire Reponses
One of the selling features eHarmony uses to entice new members to join their site is their Compatibility Matching Questionnaire that claims to evaluate twenty-nine separate dimensions of compatibility and it is probably very useful for matching some people. My issue with their questionnaire is that it is long and that if at any point their system detects that your answers are not consistent, it may reject you. The problem with that is you may have inadvertently selected an 'inconsistent' response, but there is no way to know which combination of responses may be considered 'inconsistent'. Sure, if you selected you are a man in one part and then stated you were a woman looking for a man in another part this would be a pretty obvious inconsistency. Unfortunately there are some other not so obvious inconsistencies and it is my opinion that certain combinations of responses will tag your profile as one to reject.
Reason #4 - Another Member Complains About You
While this reason may not get you cut-off immediately, when you sign up for eHarmony you give them permission to investigate you further if there are complaints about your behavior. Frequent complaints directed at you will probably lead to being scrutinized a little more closely. Now, I can't say that just having someone complain about you will get you rejected because this would be a little ridiculous, but if you do get looked at more closely by the site and they find something in your past that they don't like then this could be reason for rejection. Again, I don't know what this might be and I have no personal knowledge of eHarmony's business practices so this is only my opinion.
Reason #5 - Low Scores on Certain Dimensions of Compatibility
eHarmony evaluates every new member on their 'twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility'. What they are saying, basically, is that they score you based on how likely you are to be compatible with someone else on their site. Naturally, the less likely you are to be compatible with other members, the less reason eHarmony has to want you as a member. In my opinion, certain personality traits (which are really what these dimensions of compatibility are) or the lower you score on questions that evaluate certain key personality traits are more likely to get someone rejected. Again, I don't think anyone knows for sure what scores on which traits will get a potential member denied, but I assume that scoring low on questions related to emotional stability, character, honesty, and integrity would be the most likely to flag you as someone whom eHarmony may not want.
What Can You Do if You are One of the 20% of all online Daters who Have Been Rejected by eHarmony?
First, don't fret! Ask yourself why you were trying to become a member of eHarmony in the first place. Most likely it is because you were looking for a more serious relationship and the type of online dating site that was more relationship-oriented. Fortunately, for you, eHarmony is NOT the only relationship site with advanced matching capabilities.
So What are Some Alternatives to eHarmony?
As mentioned above, eHarmony is NOT the only dating site that matches their members based on a compatibility evaluation and it is certainly not the only relationship-oriented site. The two main internet personals sites that are most similar to eHarmony (and in my opinion, better) are: Chemistry.com and Perfectmatch.com. If you would like to learn more about either of these excellent eHarmony alternatives, click here to read more about these top-rated dating sites.
Again, I'm not saying that eHarmony's methods are all bad and I understand that they are trying to give their members the best user experience that they can. So, if you ever found yourself asking, "Why was I rejected by eHarmony?" you are definitely not alone and hopefully this dating article helped shed some light on a few of the potential reasons! And if you are tired of being rejected by big sites like eHarmony, click here to join the relationship site where everyone is welcome!
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